I have always been intrigued by nature and exploring the outdoors. As a child, I was the inquisitive, wide-eyed blondie, who was always ready for an adventure.
Floating the Deschutes River in Central Oregon, was always a thrill for me. Donning my life vest, loaded with my pack of snacks, and fully lathered with sunscreen- off we went.
Sometimes, to give my dad a break, I was allowed to steer the boat. In retrospect, giving a 7 year-old the ores is not a “break” (Haha). However, I learned so much from this act alone. Thank you, Dad 😉
One of the lessons I learned while steering that boat was to keep the front of the boat pointing down stream. In doing this, the bow of the boat will be able to cut right through the oncoming wave.
In contrast, if you let the stern of the boat get ahead of you, your boat can tip over. The object of floating in a boat is to not end up in the water- obviously.
However, if you happen to find yourself swimming in a raging river- make sure to have your feet pointing downstream. Why? This is to protect your noggin from being hit by rocks or other debris.
My point is, on the days when you feel like nothing seems to go your way: Physical Therapy exercises seem worthless; Speech Therapy doesn’t seem to be working; Occupational Therapy is child’s play and yet, you can’t get that puzzle piece to fit, the ass-end of your boat (the stern) is trying to flip you over.
What will you do when you feel this happening?
Will you chose to straighten your boat and cut through those emotions? Will you chose to let that boat capsize, causing yourself to ride out the waves- without a boat- feet first? Will you leave without your boat all together?
During difficult days when your depression is at its lowest, the days when you’ve left your boat capsized somewhere upstream, and you’re treading water- know that you’re not alone. I believe that all stroke survivors have found themselves “treading water” a time or two.
Allow yourself to feel the depression, to feel sad, to feel pity, to feel angry, and to feel the “why me?” They are valid emotions- honor them. Spend time with them. Cry if you must.
Then, kick them to the curb, get back up, and fight!
I would bet money that if you saw your progress through the lens of your Physical, Speech, and Occupational Therapists, you will see how well you truly are doing.
We are all learning. Have patience with yourself.
You are still progressing, friend.
Keep going.
Unconscious2Woke 